I Can't Lose You
by captainswanouat
Summary: Emma gets captured by pixies and the only way they'll let her leave is if she tells them Hook's location. But their request is easily granted when Hook gives up himself to save Emma and Henry.


Emma leaned her head against the rocky surface behind her, peering her eyes around the nearly pitch black cellar she found herself in. The murky flooring around her left her clothes tattered and dirty and after everything she had been through in the past 24 hours, her resolve was slowly starting to diminish into nothing. She was tired, she was hungry, and although she didn't want to admit it, she was scared. _Terrified._ She didn't know where she was or if her son was safe and on top of that, she was hopelessly alone.

It had all happened so fast. One minute she was following Hook through the dense forest when a noise from behind her caught her attention. She turned around, for a second too long, because when she straightened up to continuing following the pirate, he was gone. She called out to him once, twice, but she was met with nothing but silence and the sounds of the forest around her. Panic started to set in quickly but before she could try to figure out how to get herself out of her situation her whole world went to black and when she woke up, she was lying across the floor of the cellar. And what happened after that left her head reeling.

* * *

_The cellar door swung open and Emma let her eyes blink to adjust to new light flooding into the room. She titled her head at the short looking woman standing before her, taking in her appearance. She had blonde hair that was pulled away from her face, a netted dress that fell just above her thighs and wings. _She had wings_. Emma's eyes flew open, confusion etched on her face, but before she could ask anything the woman took a step forward and cut her off._

"_Ah, you're awake," she said._

"_Barely…" Emma grumbled while lifting her body off the ground best she could. "Where am I?"_

"_Pixie Hollow."_

"_Pixies?" Emma questioned while raising her eyebrows. "Aren't you supposed to be… tiny?"_

_The woman laughed before walking closer to Emma, standing directly above her. "I don't know who you've heard things from, but we're only tiny when we fly." The woman started circling Emma, peering down at her like she was some sort of prey. "Do you know why you're here?"_

"_Do I look like I know why the hell you decided to throw me in here?" _

_The woman stopped in her tracks, crossing her arms against her chest. "No need to get testy. Unless you don't want to get out." Emma quickly looked away, letting her gaze fall to the ground by her hands. "Now, to start things off, my name is Tinkerbell. Most people call me Tink. The reason we brought you here is because you're affiliated with a man that I'm not fond of." Emma furrowed her eyebrows and Tink sighed, letting her arms fall to her sides. "Hook."_

_At the mention of his name Emma's eyes shot open, trying to think of anything that Hook had told her of the pixies. All he had mentioned to her during one of their many walks trying to find Henry was that the pixies weren't what our world depicts them as; they were spiteful, vengeful, and mischievous tyrants. Not anything they would want to be involved with. And Emma was quickly figuring out that was true. "So why am I here?"_

_Tink smiled, a hint of spite in the curl of her lips. "It's simple. All you have to do is tell us where he is."_

"_And if I don't?"_

"_Then you won't get your precious son back."_

_Emma felt her heart beat stop at the mention of Henry. Her eyes lifted to meet with Tink's, her eyes threatening to water with the concern that was suddenly flooding through her. "You have my son?"_

"_That we do. And the only way the two of you will both make it out, is if you tell us where the pirate captain is."_

_As quickly as she opened her mouth to tell the pixie where Hook was, she had closed it. The impish glint in Tink's eye caught Emma's attention, and she was skeptical of the whole situation. "Why do you want Hook?"_

"_He has some…_ _actions he has to pay for. He thought he could lie to us and leave us out to dry last time he was in Neverland and he needs to be held accountable for what he did."_

_Emma's eyes fell closed for a moment, suddenly divided over what she needed to do. She needed Henry, she had to save him, but she had grown close to Hook; probably closer than she wanted to admit to anyone. He had come back, he had comforted her when she needed it, and he had been more than helpful during their excursions on land. And the thought of losing him as well caused her stomach to lurch. "Let me see my son first."_

"_Unfortunately, I can't do that," Tink said with a tight lipped smile, curling into her left cheek. "You seem torn over your decision. You have until tomorrow at sun rise to let us know what you decide to do. But I assure you, if you give up Hook's location, you and your son will be released alive." Tink turned on her heels and left the cellar, the door closing with a slam behind her. Emma's eyes tried to adjust as she frantically looked around the room, processing the situation. The darkness was more engulfing than before and now her thoughts wouldn't stop running, guilt welling in her gut at the thought of giving up Hook. Crawling to the corner of the cell and pulling her knees to her chest, she began to figure out what decision she would make. All she knew for sure is that whichever she chose, she wouldn't be able to live with herself._

* * *

Her time to make her decision was quickly approaching and she still had no clue what she was going to do. On one hand, she could give up Hook and get her son back. The son she had been searching weeks for; the son that was probably scared and alone and the thought of him thinking she would leave him alone broke her heart. She would be able to see his smiling face again. But on the other hand, there was Hook. The man that had be nothing but helpful, and had promised her he would get her son back to her. She had a connection to him… she cared about him. And she couldn't just give him up to the sadistic pixies after everything he had done for her. She let out a frustrated groan when the quiet sound of footsteps appeared outside her cellar.

_Shit. It's time._

She pulled herself to her feet and stabilized herself against the wall, watching under her lashes as the door slowly creaked open and Tink stepped inside. She gestured to the open doorway, a smile spreading on her face. "You're free to leave."

Emma's eyes shot open and she stared at the pixie in shock. "What?"

"You _and_ your son are free to leave. Turns out we didn't need you to tell us where Hook was." Tink turned around, and Emma followed her gaze out into the dimly lit hallway. A shadow appeared on the wall and soon Hook stood in the doorway, a solemn look on his face. He gave Emma a trying smile and she slowly began piecing everything together, her face falling as realization set in.

_He was giving himself up to help her._

"Could you give us a minute, pet?" Hook asked Tink as she eyed him carefully and lifted her lip in disgust. The pixie left with a wave of her hand, laughing to herself as she rounded the corner and disappeared from view. Once they were alone Emma began walking towards him, trying her best not to stumble over her feet.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked as she neared him.

"Saving you; and your son. You need to leave Emma, quickly before they change their mind. Take Henry back to the ship and head back to Storybrooke."

Emma watched him carefully her face falling once again as his words played through her mind. "Hook, I'm not leaving you here-"

"Emma you have a family that loves you. You have a son that needs his mother, and you have friends back home. I have no one, darling. No one that will miss me if I don't come back. You have to do this Emma. I promised you that I would help you get your son back and this is the only way."

She ignored the little voice screaming at her to tell him that wasn't true, but she couldn't ignore the tears that involuntarily welled in her eyes. Quickly she looked away from him, biting her lip to keep her emotions together. _This couldn't be happening_. "What are they going to do to you?" she asked quietly.

Hook stiffened and closed his eyes momentarily. "Honestly lass, I haven't a bloody clue."

"Are they… are they going to…" she couldn't get out the rest of her sentence, the idea of him losing his life to save her and her son causing a few tears to slip down her face.

"Emma, darling, don't cry," he said as his hand moved to cup her cheek. "You have to be strong. You have to take Henry and get the hell out of here before they decide they aren't going to release you. I'll be fine."

Emma let her head lean into his hand, but still refused to meet his gaze. She couldn't. All these emotions and feelings she had been denying were threatening to spill out of her and one look into his entrancing blue eyes and she wouldn't be able to hold it together. "I don't want to lose you," she said so quietly she almost didn't even hear herself. Hook tightened his hold on her cheek, trying to tilt her head towards his but she fought against it.

"Emma… Emma look at me." Slowly Emma lifted her eyes to his, holding back tears, sobs, everything. She hated when people saw her like this, but at the same time she couldn't help it. Not with him. All he had to do was look at her to get into her head. "You have to do this-"

"I don't want to do this, Hook! I… I know you don't think anyone cares about you but you're wrong; I do. And I lose everyone I care about and I'm not going to lose you too."

Hook leaned his forehead against hers, his hot breath dancing across her face. "I'm sorry Emma… I don't want to do this but you need to get back to Storybrooke. And I _know_ that you know that's what you need to do."

Emma stayed silent and let a few more tears slip down her cheek. She hadn't realized how much he meant to her until the idea of never seeing him again set in. Mind the fact that they were searching for Henry, things between them were _good_. They were getting along, trusting each other, opening up to one another. And now… all of that was going to be gone. "So this is it, then?"

Hook's gaze dropped to hers as he bit the inside of his lip. "I'll find a way back to you, Emma. I got off of this god forsaken island once and I can do it again. But I assure you, you needn't wait for me darling if you don't wish too."

She nodded twice, giving him a trying smile. "Okay… okay I'll do this. Just…" she trailed off, and let her lips part slightly. "Please be careful."

Hook let his hand fall from her cheek as he backed up, and she instantly missed the warmth of his body near hers. "Aye lass… that I will. Now go get your lad." Emma's tired eyes never left his as she cautiously made her way to the door, calming herself with deep breaths.

This wasn't the way she saw this happening; this wasn't what she wanted to have happen.

As she was about to turn into the hallway a hand firmly grasped around her wrist captured her attention. She turned around and gave Hook a confused look, eyeing his hand that was firmly grasping her wrist. "What is it?"

"I… in case something happens, in case this is the last time we see each other-"

"It's not going to be," Emma said confidently, although she knew that it was inevitably possible that she would never see him again. But she didn't want to think about that.

"But if it is. I… I would regret never telling you this. I would hate that I just let you walk away without you knowing." Emma tilted her head in confusion and Hook slowly let go of her wrist and once again cupped her cheek, holding her gaze with his. "Emma… I love you. I know you don't feel the same way and this isn't how I wanted to tell you, but I love you and I needed you to know."

Emma stared at him wide eyed, tears threatening on the edges of her eyes again. "What?"

"I love you." Before she could say anything his lips tentatively met hers. Her tense body suddenly relaxed and she let herself fall into the kiss, her fingers lightly grazed his neck. She tilted her head, deepening the kiss, and pulled him closer to her. It felt so right and even though her head was reeling, she didn't want it to end. But reality quickly set in when he pulled away, rubbing her cheek softly with his thumb. "Now, darling, go get your son."

Emma nodded and she pulled him in for a hug, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso. "Thank you."

"It's not a problem, love."

Emma blinked away the tears in her eyes; her heart beat stopping as he lightly kissed the side of her head. Slowly she unwrapped herself from his embrace and walked down the hallway. She folded her arms across her chest and kept her head down, never once looking back. She knew if she did, she wouldn't be able to leave. She had to do this… she had to trust he'd come back. And with a loud exhale she made her decision and walked around the next corner, ignoring the guilt welling up inside her.

* * *

"We're almost ready to set sail. Just a few more tweeks and we'll be heading home."

All Emma did was nod at her father that was quickly shuffling around the ship, readying the sails and getting everything prepared before they headed home. Her elbows were firmly digging into the railing of the Jolly Roger as she kept her eyes on the beach, hoping for some sort of miracle. It felt so wrong leaving without Hook, especially on his own ship nonetheless. The more she thought about it, the worse she felt, and the more her guilty conscious ate away at her. She was so relieved when Henry was back in her arms, and for a moment her decision felt right. But as they walked back to the ship everything felt wrong. And even though she was surrounded by people that loved her, and she had her son back, she somehow still felt alone. She missed his obnoxious innuendos and cocky attitude; his understand tone and his comforting arms wrapped around her. She missed _him_.

"Alright Emma, we're ready to go."

She closed her eyes and bit her lip, slowly turning to face David. "Can… can we wait just a little while longer? Just in case?"

"Emma, he's not going to-"

"Please dad?"

David's face softened at her calling him dad and slowly he nodded at her, giving her a sympathetic smile. "Alright, just a little while longer. But Henry is itching to leave."

Emma glanced over at her son that was standing behind the helm, tapping his fingers on the wood. "I know. Just… just a few more minutes. Just to make sure." She turned her gaze back to the beach and watched the tree line. She knew, deep down, he wouldn't make it back in time to leave with them. There was no way, and he had made it clear that he wouldn't. But she couldn't let go to that fraction of hope that he would.

Minutes passed and the beach was eerily still. She heard David raising the anchor and she leaned her chin down on the railing. This was it. She was probably never going to see him again. But as she was about to let out everything she had been holding in since they had gotten back, something on the beach caught her attention. She looked with squinted eyes and let out a startled gasp as she saw Hook emerging past the dense forest; limping, but alive.

"Hook…" she whispered as all the talk from behind her fell on deaf ears. She scrambled backwards and everyone on the ship stopped what they were doing, watching her with confused expressions on their faces.

"Emma, sweetie, what's-"

"Hook's alive, drop the gangplank!" Her parents continued to stare at her and she let out a frustrated groan. "Drop the gangplank god damn it! We're not leaving without him!" She pointed behind her to the shore, working the gangplank down herself before her dad finally came to her side and helped her. "You get everything ready, I'll bring him onto the ship and then we can get the hell out of here." Emma ran down the makeshift dock they had dropped anchor at, and took off in the direction of him. She wasn't sure if this was even real but like hell she was going to question it. Quickly she reached him and without thinking she threw her arms around his neck, holding herself closely against him.

Hook held back a groan of pain, gritting his teeth, and wrapped his arms around her body, relishing in the warmth she created against him. "Emma…" he said quietly against the shell of her ear. Emma let out a cry of relief as she tightened her grip around him, pressing her hand into the back of his head.

"You're alive," she finally managed to say. Hook let out a rough laugh, rubbing circles on her back with his fingers.

"Aye lass, that I am. I told you I would find a way back."

"How did… how did you-"

"We can talk about that later, darling. It's a bore of a long story, but I didn't get away without them taking a few hits at me."

Emma turned her attention to his bloody shoulder that was surrounded by his torn clothing. "Let's get you back to the ship and get this cleaned up. We need to get home."

She moved to leave but Hook kept his arms around her torso, slowly bringing up his hand to cup her face. "Emma before we're without a moment alone I just wanted you let you know that I meant what I said in the cell. I love you, and this whole ordeal made me realize how much it would pain me if I lost you."

Emma smiled up at him, running her hands along his collar bones. "You won't lose me. I'm right here." She stood up on her toes and closed the distance between them, meeting his lips in a soft kiss. Hook wrapped his hand around to the back of her head while tangling his fingers in her hair. Their lips moved effortlessly against one another's and Emma sighed against him. She knew her family was watching but she didn't care; this was right, being wrapped up in his arms and kissing him like this.

Slowly she pulled her lips from his, a smile spreading widely across her face. When her eyes met his, she saw the same look in his that was in hers; hope, relief, _love_. Hook reached his hand down and linked his fingers with hers, leaning his tired body against hers for support.

"Come on love, let's go home."


End file.
